The Sun also Sets

Raw Emotion Moment: Why is it that every time I am having a good, productive, positive, confident day, I crash and burn halfway through and have a breakdown about things that could still go wrong?

Most days are full of anxiety, both social and mental, dread and depression, and anger. However, there is always at least 1 out of 7 golden days a week in which I feel spectacular, amazing, perfect.

Then, slowly, subtly, I hear that voice in my head saying ‘yeah your day is going great, but what about tomorrow, or in a month when you have to give that presentation for work, or in 10 years when you might not even be alive and this is all for naught?’

I am substantially blessed in my life with a job I love, a family I love, and a boyfriend I beyond love. There is nothing serious to complain about with love and success in my life, so why am I always focused on death, dying, and destruction?

I would like advice on how to train my brain to stop being negative, sans any medication.

Or maybe I do need medication, hell, I don’t know. Gnarls Barkley’s Crazy big hit Crazy just came on my playlist as I typed that last sentence, perhaps it’s a sign.

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10 thoughts on “The Sun also Sets

  1. I admire your awareness around your thoughts and emotions. Sometimes, that sadness is an ‘imprint’ of a childhood trauma or something unresolved in your life (trauma by the way does not have to be traumatic). Re-training brain has only limited success because some of those imprints are like computer programmes. I hope I’m making sense, but if you’d like to explore and clear this pattern, please get in touch. It’s something I’m trained to deal with 🙂 Gulara (gularav@gmail.com)

    1. Thank you, Dr. Vincent. I have always heard, from friends and professionals, that that is a highly plausible reason for the way I tend to feel, but I simply can’t think of any unresolved trauma. I would love to keep in contact with you, thank you for your email!

      1. I’d love to stay in touch too 🙂 I think things that make us sad are often unconscious. I’m sure when the time is right for you, you’ll find your own way to explore this.

  2. I just want you to know one thing that’s crucial you’re not crazy you’re brave and vigorous. Feeling depressed and going through anxiety and all these emotions are symptoms of something bigger.
    You’re obviously dealing with some trauma, and the first thing you need to accept is you’re not crazy, and your brain is trying to tell you something, and that is it need help whether it’s medical or emotional that’s up to you.
    The most important thing is knowing that you’re not crazy. Dealing with a mental illness doesn’t make you crazy you’re just as sick as a person who’s got the chicken pox. Nothing about this is imaginary because if you were alright you wouldn’t feel this way.
    I hope you get help and feel better.

  3. Danielle, You are absolutely right – some days it’s better to stay in bed. Those are the days where nothing aligns and no matter what you do, everything turns to crap! And then there are those “yin days” where everything is in sync and you can do no wrong. I love those days and appreciate them so much more because of the “yang days”. Throughout my life, I’ve learned to roll with it all and do the best I can on the journey. Stressing out only results in more stress and that will give you wrinkles by the time you’re 67 like me. Never forget, there’s always the morning

  4. I know it’s easy for me to say this, but many of us have days when it seems that nothing will ever be right again. Usually we can shake it off pretty quickly. In your case, you are doing really well to be asking yourself why you feel this way, and what, exactly, is at the root of the problem. If it’s a new problem, it could be just the stress of making your way in the world of work after college days. It sounds as though you have a lovely, supportive family and a wonderful boyfriend. Focus on the the things you love in life and take every day as it comes. I wish you all the best in this. Take care. Millie 🙂

    1. Thank you for the advice, Millie, I’m working on taking it one task at a time for now! (though this week in particular is insanely hard because I am leaving for my first business conference trip and first flight, etc).

      1. I really wish you well in this. The first time you embark on something as ‘big’ as this in your career can be very stressful, I know. Sending you positive vibes right now…

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