Throwback Thoughts

Oftentimes I get this odd, unwelcome, misunderstood feeling when I am eating lunch or pigging out in the office. It’s this befuddled feeling of sadness that creeps in on me as I make sure no one is watching me eat. It reminds me of high school, eating quickly and being aware of being watched, scarfing down all the food on my plate and giving no onlookers a question of how I got to be so big.

I felt sad then, sure, but more so embarrassed by my stomach size and eating speed than sad. I felt like other people who were bigger or sat alone in the cafeteria must feel the same, sort of sad and sort of embarrassed.

I get that feeling now, 100 pounds down, staring around my office for onlookers. I feel sad for those kids in the high school cafeteria staring down at their empty lunch trays, and I feel sad for anyone who has ever felt this odd, judged, embarrassed feeling.

Weight is not as big of an issue as it seems in high school. Sure, health wise, you want to be as fit as possible. Your weight should never make you feel left out, abandon, embarrassed, or judged, however, and if it does I encourage you to reach out for some kind words or advice. I’m always here to talk (unless I’m not)!  

Progress pics galore to help you realize your potential!


2008 vs 2016
PicMonkey Collage
Chicago in High School, Chicago in College
Fishing in High School, Fishing in College



3 thoughts on “Throwback Thoughts

  1. You’re beautiful! I’m sorry you have to go through the feeling of making sure no one is watching you, but I’m so happy you seem to feel more comfortable in your own skin. I hope everyone can find peace and comfort in their own bodies.
    I can relate to the feeling. I too eat at a ridiculous pace and most often alone. While I do eat meals with friends at the university, I find it easier to eat alone. After childhood experiences into the present day, I’ve felt uncomfortable and ashamed of my body, but I’m hoping as I get closer and closer to the realities of being on my own, that I can make good decisions that’ll lead me into a better version of myself.
    Happy thoughts, happy almost Friday!
    -Author S

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